cicatriz, gift certificates, application accepted

I remember in my high school third year Spanish class, we read this cheesy mystery "novel." All I remember, in addition to the cover being blue, is that there was the reoccurring appearance of el hombre con la cicatriz. That was burned into my memory, because I just loved that word. Cicatriz. In a similar vein, I also remember from my first year Spanish class, our unit on zoo animals. There was this picture of a mom and kid at the zoo, and the kid is saying, "No mama, no tengo miedo, todos los leones estan en sus jaulas." Because that's a great word too. Jaula. But, anyway, I was talking about "cicatriz." Scar. Not only do I love that word, I also love scars. I've been jealous for years of that cute one on my sister's abdomen. I often look lovingly at the one in my finger webbing from that avocado cutting gone wrong. I like small to medium sized scars, in tasteful locations. My burn scars on my arm aren't very interesting. It's incision scars I'm most interested in. And also lacking.

Well, not for long my friends. Not for long. The other day Austen pointed out that soon I'll have a nice big scar on my ankle. What a great addition to this long and grim story! I hadn't realized that. But it's true. With all the trials of ankle surgery, I will be given the reward of a hopefully beautiful scar. Perhaps it's worth it after all.

And today the date was set. June 10th. Finally, now I can start to plan around that, figure out what I need to do before then, realize what I can’t do after then.

Prospect of scar aside, I'm still nervous. About the afterwards. About the time when I can’t do much for myself. About the two months when I can’t drive. Or go for walks. Or carry my laundry downstairs. Or stand up in the shower. Or even admire my scar because it will be covered in cast.

But I’m curious what this time will bring. Like it or not, a big change in pace. I’m a busy gal. I do a lot. I go go go. This will be different. What will unfold…?

I have some gift certificates (from Christmas and birthday) that I’m planning on using up. I think I’ll make a trip to the women’s spa just before surgery. I think that would be perfect. A nice little treat, something I won’t be able to do for awhile. I was just looking at their website, wondering what I will use my birthday gift certificate from D&S for. It’s an obvious choice. A foot treatment. A half hour foot massage accessing reflex points throughout the body. My poor foot’s one last hurrah. And during recovery time I plan to do some knitting. A tiger sweater for Tighe. Felted ballerina slippers for Isabel. That will use up some gift certificates as well.

In other news (yes, really, this ankle surgery isn’t the ONLY thing I think about), school is moving right along. I have one more class, a week from today, and then the semester is over. My fifth of seven. And today I accomplished something truly great. I have been putting off forever (see post entitled “five unrelated things" from 3/17/05) completing my application for Degree Candidate Status. This status represents a virtual contract and means that the faculty consider you appropriate for eventual graduation (assuming you earn passing grades in your remaining coursework and complete the internship requirement satisfactorily). "Degree Candidate Status" is like a passport to graduation and the beginning of the internship experience. Finally today I bit the bullet and wrote the essay about what I’ve learned so far in this program and how I’ve changed and grown and how I know I’m ready for Degree Candidate Status and other cheesy things like that. I was nervous about it. I turned it in. Not three hours later I got an email saying,
“Hi Toni,
Dr. Ellis has approved and signed your application for Degree Candidate Status. Congratulations!”
This is worth stopping for a moment and acknowledging. It would be easy to lose this in every day bustle. But I think this is actually significant. So, I’m glad to have that done. And I’m proud of myself for all the work up to this point.