a big bag of tricks
it's funny. when i start to take away all the things i do in my life to distract myself from myself - there are always more.
like, i've taken away the busy-ness. i'm no longer busy. but then i fill it up with friendsallthetime. then i take away the friends, get myself a little bit of alone time. but then i fill it up by staying up really late on the computer, until i'm so tired i can't think.
there's always more (ways to fill my time and distract myself) and i'll find it and do it unless i don't. so i'm don't-ing some. i just have to stop. now i'm stopping, getting off the computer.
we'll see what happens.
like, i've taken away the busy-ness. i'm no longer busy. but then i fill it up with friendsallthetime. then i take away the friends, get myself a little bit of alone time. but then i fill it up by staying up really late on the computer, until i'm so tired i can't think.
there's always more (ways to fill my time and distract myself) and i'll find it and do it unless i don't. so i'm don't-ing some. i just have to stop. now i'm stopping, getting off the computer.
we'll see what happens.
posted by toni @ 12:52 AM
2 Comments:
At 6/22/2005 1:57 AM,
still_figuring_out said…
so what happened..?
At 6/22/2005 8:17 AM,
toni said…
well... i went to bed. had weird, barely rememberable dreams. (which has been the case since the surgery.) woke up. took off my boot and dried it with a blow drier and dried my foot with a blow drier. I KNOW i'm not supposed to take off my boot, BUT IT WAS NECESSARY. absolutely necessary. it had reached the maximum sogginess that i could possibly live with. and when i took off my boot and looked at the heel of my foot i saw what "maximum sogginess" looks like on a foot. very white and wrinkily, and a bit blistery. and very painful, but i already knew that.
oh, like, on a deeper level? what happened when i stopped distracting myself and just let myself be? well, i'll continue with my day and maybe we'll find out.
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