Five Unrelated Topics

1. I'm feeling better than I was yesterday. Wanna know what cured me? A coffee date with a classmate during which we were supposed to work hard without letting ourselves get distracted on a presentation we're going to give on cultural issues as they pertain to ethics but during which we stayed on task for about ten minutes and then ended up talking about more important things like the wedding she just attended and something I've been anxious about. And then wanna know what cured me even more? Talking on the phone for a few seconds to a good friend, preceded by leaving her a really long message. And then you know what made it even better? A little knitting party with three friends and four young children with good food and good company at which I taught some people to knit. And my four year old friend, E, told me she thinks I'm amazing. She said, "Wow, Toni can knit AND sew? I didn't know that. She's AMAZING. Toni, I'm going to call you Amazing Toni." I loved that.

2. A little update in The Search for Laura. I did a little Google search and found someone who was possibly my Laura. I emailed her and asked. She wrote this back:

Sorry...no. I went to school in Oklahoma. Thanks for trying though. I always love hearing from old friends. Hope you find her.

I love that she wrote back to me, even thought she wasn't the Real Laura.

3. Finally, finally, finally. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT TOOK THIS LONG. I'm a little upset that this didn't happen earlier.

I got a little bit of an answer about what's wrong with my ankle. For those of you who haven't been following this story since it's beginning, ten months and one day ago, I'll give you a little background. Ten months and one day ago I went for my last run. I didn't know it would be my last run. I thought it would be significant, but for a different reason. The reason being that I was running the Capital City Marathon (half marathon, actually). It was my second time running that race. And it went well. I loved it. I love running. I really had a blast running. I was quite pleased with my time. It wasn't record breaking or anything. But I'd run at an easy comfortable pace and had a great time. I was willing to take a little break after months of intense training. I anticipated not running for a week, maybe two. Well... Ten months and one day later, I haven't been for a run. Not once. Not at all. And here's why. The next day, exactly ten months ago, about 20 hours after finishing the race... I fell down the stairs. At work. ON THE JOB INJURY!! Oh no. My ankle! I heard a pop. It hurt a lot. I limped to the freezer and put some ice on it. I called my mom who brought arnica and an ace bandage. I thought I'd be fine. Not one to stray from routine, I still went to the gym that day and did a good upper body workout. I'll skip all the boring in between. (The five months of PT, which ended with the physical therapist firing me because she had no more ideas and my ankle was actually getting worse... The x-rays that showed nothing... the next set of x-rays taken months later in case the first ones missed something... the braces and wraps and sleeves that did very little... the ice and ice and ice and ice and more ice... the CAT scan which showed nothing... the agony of not running... starting to tell myself that I must be imagining this pain because nobody has been able to find anything wrong with my ankle and I know it's not AS BAD as it was at the beginning so maybe it's better... the podiatrist who I really like and have gotten to know well but who hasn't fixed it... the orthotics that actually do help, but not 100%... the fear that I'll never run again... the frustration that I can't even walk without pain... having to give up dance and yoga and biking and EVERYTHING because they all made it worse... it's been hard... really hard... for a long time... and I've been to one to three doctor's appointments EVERY SINGLE week for the last ten months... with no answers.) Okay, I guess I didn't skip the in bewteen. So, anyway, I had an MRI a couple weeks ago. And today I heard the results from my podiatrist, who I think is great. And, guess what? I have a torn ligament. (The one right above the "a" in the word "ligaments.") For ten months now I've had this torn ligament. My goodness. If only they'd found that out TEN MONTHS AGO! Well, great, here we go. A concrete problem. And she had a few ideas about solutions. And it pleased me that surgery was not until the bottom of her list - because I would really rather that didn't have to happen. But if it does, I trust her. (Lis - don't read this next part.) Today I got a cortisone injection. Which hurt A LOT. My God. Boy. That was painful. Yuck. But about 15 minutes later my ankle felt better. I got out of my car and started walking and was SHOCKED by the absence of pain. The doctor said one or two little shots might take care of this problem completely. Wow. Oh wow. I can't imagine how wonderful life would be.

4. You know what really bothers me? People who loudly ask personal questions in public. That just happened to me. And it happened last time I ran into this woman. And a friend told me that it's happened to her when she's run into this woman in public. What makes people do that? What makes her think that it's okay for her to broadcast my life throughout the coffee shop? Why doesn't she sensitively NOT BRING UP topics that I might not want strangers to hear about?

5. I am almost (six more weeks) done with my second year of my Masters in Counseling. What I have left is two electives and two semesters of internship. And before I begin my internship (so that means now) I must apply for Degree Candidate Status. I've completed my requisite ten sessions of therapy and turned in validation from my therapist. I've gotten a letter of recommendation from a student ahead of me in the program. And now I just have to write a little essay. The requirements are below.

Complete a four to five hundred word essay (approx. two to three pages) answering the following questions:
On what basis do you consider yourself ready for Degree Candidacy Status?
What do you consider your most significant academic learning experiences in the MAC Program to this point?
What do you consider your most significant personal learning experiences?
How was the experience of completing 10 sessions of personal therapy? What did you learn? How did you grow? (There are no implicit or explicit expectations that you present any issues of an emotional or psychological nature that you dealt with during the therapy experience; don't include anything you aren't comfortable disclosing!)
What are the most important tasks left to accomplish for the remainder of your work in the MAC Program? How do you intend to accomplish them? What could stand in your way and how will you overcome these obstacles?

And I guess I'm just a little burnt out. I've been totally jazzed about this program for nearly two years. But I'm low on steam right now. So, here's my assignment, dear friends. Any tips? Inspiration? Anyone want to write it for me?? (Bif?) (Just kidding.) (Mostly.) I mean, it's not a big deal. I know I'll be accepted. I just have to make myself write it. And it's pretty much at the bottom of my PUT IT OFF list right now.

Things I'm Putting Off:
1. Unpacking and moving into my new home
2. Finding a new job
3. Securing an internship for the fall
4. Researching and writing a paper on five treatment modalities for autism
5. preparing to give a presentation on ethical issues around cultural issues in counseling
6. calling Comcast and making sure they remove that charge for the "premium install" that I didn't request and didn't have
7. degree candidate essay