Isn't this beautiful?

spring (03.02.05)

I love this picture for lots of reasons, one of which because it looks like the Nikki McClure calendar picture for this month.

I had all kinds of great, poetic, witty things planned to write. And while I'm not quite as sleep deprived as I was 24 hours ago, my brain still isn't retaining great, poetic, witty ideas at top capacity. Plus I'm too tired to write them even if I could remember them.

So I just want to say a few things. And maybe tomorrow I'll remember and embellish.

I love having friends who know me. What's great about this is that they can remind me bits about myself that I've forgotten. Like the friend who told me today that I hate moving. Yes, I know that. But hearing it helps. Reminds me to be patient and compassionate with myself during this move. Just like the beginning of every semester when I start to flip out and someone says, "Chill Toni, and don't be so hard on yourself. The beginning is always hard for you, and then you get into the groove and it's much easier." Friends are good for that.

Here are some things I hate, just off the top of my head:
1. moving
2. mold

I realized today that most of my earliest early childhood memories are times that I got in trouble. Why is that? The time I locked my mom out of the house while a friend and I played with green food coloring. All over. The time I climbed on the stove to get the oranges off the top of the refrigerator (which were kept there because I was allergic to them) while my mom was in the shower. The time my friend and I cut our neighbor's cat's hair. I remember glue, too. It was my birthday party. Third or fourth. And there was a bottle of Elmer's glue that was a little dried out so it was kind of like silly putty. And a housemate let me play with it. And that was my favorite part of the birthday. But then later some kids got that dried glue wet, and it wasn't putty-like anymore. And I was disappointed. Very.

Last night as I was awake in bed I thought to myself, "Have I forgotten how to fall asleep? Is this a skill that many people possess but which I lack?" I was worried. Still am kinda.