Respect
What if we didn't laugh at kids. I mean, really. THINK ABOUT IT.
What if none of us ever laughed when a kid says or does something we think is "cute." What happens when a six year old says she likes taking a bath once a week and a whole room of grown ups cracks up? Imagine being her. Imagine how both humiliating and confusing that would be. What happens when someone says, in a stupid syrupy voice, "Hey little guy, what's your name?" and then the four year old hides behind his parent, and then everyone laughs?
All the time kids are saying things, answering our questions, telling their stories - and getting laughed at. We adults don't think about it, don't realize we're doing it. And pretty much everyone does it.
I don't. I'm not trying to sound superior and better than, but I really don't. And I wish other people didn't either.
I had a thought today, all of a sudden when I was driving down the road... what if we didn't laugh at kids? What if, as a society, we valued kids as human beings, and knew that we need to learn from what they say? Imagine how much more self esteem this whole society would have if, as children, our thoughts and dreams and fears were never, ever laughed at. Imagine how much more respect we would have for one another if, as children, we never questioned our own respectability. Imagine a society in which we weren't afraid to share our thoughts, in which we knew how to listen to others'.
Idealistic? Yeah, I get that way sometimes. But I'm not giving up.
Try it, please. Next time you want to laugh - just listen instead. And then respond. And have a conversation.
Let me know what happens.
What if none of us ever laughed when a kid says or does something we think is "cute." What happens when a six year old says she likes taking a bath once a week and a whole room of grown ups cracks up? Imagine being her. Imagine how both humiliating and confusing that would be. What happens when someone says, in a stupid syrupy voice, "Hey little guy, what's your name?" and then the four year old hides behind his parent, and then everyone laughs?
All the time kids are saying things, answering our questions, telling their stories - and getting laughed at. We adults don't think about it, don't realize we're doing it. And pretty much everyone does it.
I don't. I'm not trying to sound superior and better than, but I really don't. And I wish other people didn't either.
I had a thought today, all of a sudden when I was driving down the road... what if we didn't laugh at kids? What if, as a society, we valued kids as human beings, and knew that we need to learn from what they say? Imagine how much more self esteem this whole society would have if, as children, our thoughts and dreams and fears were never, ever laughed at. Imagine how much more respect we would have for one another if, as children, we never questioned our own respectability. Imagine a society in which we weren't afraid to share our thoughts, in which we knew how to listen to others'.
Idealistic? Yeah, I get that way sometimes. But I'm not giving up.
Try it, please. Next time you want to laugh - just listen instead. And then respond. And have a conversation.
Let me know what happens.
posted by toni @ 3:34 PM
3 Comments:
At 5/14/2005 10:56 PM,
Anonymous said…
Town, I'm with you on this one. I dislike it when adults talk down to/laugh at children. It's unkind and rude.
Having some clear memories of frustration when adults laughed at my expense, I try to save the giggles for later...
At 5/15/2005 9:19 PM,
Jess said…
I agree. I don't remember being laughed at particularly, just teased because of being shy. I try not to get in shy kids' faces too much because of that. Just let them do their thing. And I tend not to laugh at kids to their faces - but totally later.
At 5/21/2005 2:31 PM,
Anonymous said…
As Another Mom said, it was really one of our rules when you were young, and we explained it to a lot of people. I'm sure that it happened to you some of the time anyway, but I hope that you mostly remember that it didn't happen. The fact that it was limited might even make it so that you noticed it more, and can notice when it happens to children. Once Vicki Lafser explained this during church service during the service when she roller skated in with her hair in pigtails, and talked about including children more in our community and that it was OK for children to make noise during services and that others shouldn't pressure the parents to remove them. I've done talks on the not laughing topic also, as well as the reasons not to tickle children and not to ask them stupid questions that they get asked all the time. Just wanted to let you know that I'm with you on this. And I agree that adults laugh because they feel embarrassed by children's thoughts and actions -- and thereby teach children to be embarrassed.
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