The truth comes out

Apparently I'm a very private person. This surprises me. It's not how I think of myself. But my friends point it out to me, and I must agree with them. Today my sister absent mindedly picked up my planner and started looking through it. That makes me nervous. There's not really anything I'm hiding in there, but it makes me nervous when people look in it. (I think I'm a tiny bit ashamed of how scheduled I am and how meticulously I keep track.) I remember in middle school having friends over, and leaving my bedroom for a moment, and not wanting to leave my friends alone in there, looking at my stuff.

I'm not like that anymore. I leave people in my house. I let my sister look at my planner.

I'm not private in that I don't talk about my life with people. I do. All the time. But I often keep many details hidden. I'm not sure why. I have good friends who I've known for a LOOONG time, that know lots of things about me. But I notice myself leaving all kinds of details out of stories. Enough that there are holes in my story, and then they ask clarifying questions, and I give vague answers. I'm working on that. Because I want to open up more and because I want to irritate my friends less.

So, I represent a natural body care company, Sensaria. This is something that I haven't talked about much. I don't know why. But here I am, blogging about it. So, the secret is out. Since my picture of the day is a picture of me and the CEO of the company, I figured I had to tell people.

As a kid - I loved to sell things.

I sold lemonade sometimes, but that's too boring and ordinary. A friend and I made greeting cards and jewelry and dog treats and dragged them in a red wagon around her neighborhood. There was one summer that we did that almost every day, selling something new each time. My favorite sales scheme was The Neighborhood News. Actually, it was the "Neborhood News." Nobody corrected my spelling. When I was nine or ten I started a neighborhood newsletter. I interviewed neighbors. I wrote about neighborhood events - like the new fire station at the end of the street. I typed it all up on my mother's typewriter. And then I sold it to neighbors. I never made very much money doing any of these things, but making money wasn't really the goal. I mostly enjoyed that way of engaging with people, of providing something they were interested in buying.

And then I forgot. I got busy with other things. I forgot how much I'd enjoyed working in sales. As a ten year old.

In November of 2004, when someone asked me if I'd like to be a Sensaria representative I said no because I didn't think I had enough time. I have another full time job and I'm a full time graduate student. Also, I really value having balance in my life which means that on top of school and work I need to have time to be alone, be with friends, relax, and play. I didn't think I had room for one more thing. But once that idea was planted, that little salesgirl in me woke up and I started to get really excited. Really excited. I couldn't sleep for a few nights because I was so excited about this new idea.

I thought about it for a week or so, and then said yes. Now, in my fifth month with Sensaria, I really enjoy it. Yes, it's true; I'm a little busier than I used to be. But that's because I've enjoyed this so much and have decided to spend as much time as I do at spa parties. And what I love is that I haven't had to give up the balance that I valued before. I decide when and how much I'm willing to work. And I don't work when I'd rather do something else. What's great is that this work rarely feels like work. I love meeting people, sharing these products that I love, helping others create businesses that support their dreams, and pushing myself to do new and uncomfortable.

I signed up because it sounded like fun. That was enough to convince me. And in the meantime I've also found a enjoyable and relatively easy way to make a significant amount of extra money, I've met really incredible people who I feel so blessed to know and love spending time with, and I've developed a lot more self-confidence. I have found a community of women who really value self care and who are enthusiastic about empowering one another. And that's what I really want. That's what I really want to be among because it is in groups of women like this that I see myself becoming more of who I truly want to be.

When I began this venture I really had no idea. I thought I could make a little extra money, get some free Sensaria products, and see what happened. I didn't know what to expect. And it's been just incredible. My experience with this company has and continues to affect me in countless ways.

Following is a poem that speaks volumes about my experience with Sensaria. I invite you to really let these words in, and feel what they mean in your own life.

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is woman
a woman who honors her experience and tells her stories
who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself
a woman who listens to her needs and desires
who meets them with tenderness and grace

Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past's influences on the present
a woman who has walked through her past
who has healed into the present

Imagine a woman who authors her own life
a woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf
who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice

Imagine a woman who names her own gods
a woman who imagines the divine in her image and likeness
who designs a personal spirituality to inform her daily life

Imagine a woman in love with her own body
a woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is
who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the goddess in her changing body
a woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom
who refuses to use her life-energy disguising the changes in her body and life

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life
a woman who sits in circles of women
who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets

Imagine yourself as this woman
By Patricia l Reilly


I often share this poem at the beginning of a spa party. When I hear a circle of women reading this poem together, when I hear so many voices speaking these words, and see different people nodding at different parts, and many people getting teary - I feel so honored to be part of this. Thinking about how many women, in Olympia and throughout the Northwest I have shared this poem with (not to mention the entire spa experience) is incredible. A couple months ago I read this poem at a Sensaria event when Rob Barnes (owner of Sensaria) was in attendance. He loved it, and told me tonight that he has distributed it to representatives ACROSS THE COUNTRY! What an impact! And then I can think about the ripple effect - the fact that I've influenced so many women who have in turn shared these gifts with others - and on and on.

I have a good friend who often says that we only get to keep it if we give it away. So we might as well help other people because that's the only way we're going to help ourselves. When we're feeling selfish and stubborn and exhausted - the best thing we can do is help someone who needs what we feel we're lacking. I really know this to be true, and see how it relates to this work in many ways. Being a Sensaria representative I have opportunities, every day, to encourage women to take care of themselves - not just their physical bodies, but really their entire beings. I get to remind us all to acknowledge and appreciate our worth, to stand firmly in our own beliefs and to stay present and grounded in our own lives. I get to challenge us to really respect ourselves, trust ourselves, accept ourselves, and love ourselves.

The beauty of giving these gifts to other women, is that I get them mirrored back to me. Through talking about these values to others, I, myself am reminded. And through partnering with the whole Sensaria team I have met so many incredible women, each with meaningful gifts to share. It's wonderful to be part of something that so fully supports my values and my visions.